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Felonious Biceps

Felonious Biceps

Politics control our lives in every facet; this is simple fact and unarguable. It would be a misnomer if someone stated that writing is not ‘propaganda’ as Derrick Jensen has noted virtually all forms of writing and articles are propaganda, as they are written from a pre-conceived viewpoint. The media, Congress, and the legal system itself has indoctrinated the masses to the perspective that steroids are essentially Lucifer’s Semen intramuscularly injected before hanging yourself with a weight pulley system. The every-day verbal abuse, accusations, and defamation of character slandered by the ignorant to muscle-bound males and females is a reality we are all aware of. Unfortunately, because we have chosen to endeavor in this art and subculture we are classified as criminals (If we want to be good at anyways). The 10ML bottles of Lucifer Semen have only recently been reduced to a misdemeanor in California; It was a felony for simple possession previously. The twisted ‘Outer Limits’ irony that the popular governor, actor, and well-recognized bodybuilder of all time built his career on anabolic steroids would be enough to throw a practitioner of Jainism into a violent fury of stomping upon ants.

In another life I worked as a Corrections Officer for the State of Alaska for over four years; most of the time in booking, the most atrocious position imaginable. There was a complete lack of training, understaffing, and the constant barrage of State Troopers as well as PD, bringing in people for such Nuremberg equivalent crimes as ‘MICS 4’ or possessing marijuana. Over the tenure of this job, my political viewpoints started to change as I no longer could consider myself simply ‘left wing’ but I started to witness the rotten, cruel injustice of the United States legal system. I realized the giant waste of resources on incarcerating people for simple drug possession crimes.

FELONIOUS BICEPS_Danny Mansluaghter
I learned the legal system fairly well as the fax machine sput out papers during arraignments and was working on shift when my childhood friend was booked on an attempted murder charge. As our eyes locked after not seeing each other for years, I felt nauseous; now he remains in prison for a crime committed with essentially little to no evidence— but hey he’s black- that’s kind of how it works. I started reading books on night shift and becoming increasingly more radical and began reading the writings of Kropotkin, Bakunin, Zinn, Chomsky and all of the other leftist titans. Eventually, I resigned as I could no longer hold myself in authority over another person as it was contradictory to my belief system. I can say that if you were to ask anyone who had encounters with me during my brief tenure– They’d tell you I always treated people with respect and met some of the most interesting and creative people of my life working that job.Recently, I found myself on the other side of the fence— AKA in a jail cell. My crime? Possession of anabolic steroids; a small quantity as well. As six law enforcement officials raided the home of my sweet little lady and yours truly, our civil rights were violated, and we were treated less than dog shit.
As one officer started to state “You have the 5th amendment to remain silent” I retorted “Yes, I’m quite aware….” His face turned as red as menstrual fluid from his man-vagina, and he screamed: “I don’t want to hear any of your sovereign citizen bullshit!”Since I fell in love with this subculture I now face charges and am considered a criminal. I have yet to encounter a man who has suck another man’s penis for a bottle of deca-durabfolin, an execution-style murder over the collection of a bottle of test enanthate, or any other crimes associated with controlled substances. Rick Collins stated to me “95% of people I represent are not criminals”. When will the fitness industry, professional athletes, broke-dick bodybuilders, ‘Ya Basta!’ or ‘enough is enough’.

The first part of my experience of becoming an official criminal ended after 14 hours of laying in an over-packed decrepit cell without water for 14 hours. With occasional bursts of outrage, I might be a fuck-up in a few aspects, but I can be smart as a motherfucker and know the law as well as any paralegal. Welcome to the United Snakes— Where it is illegal to have big muscles, and the laws are enforced by the largest armed gang in the United States— The Police. I await my arraignment at the beginning of March- Until then comrades… Stay solid. This year has been a real motherfucker for me as I battled the death of two best friends, spiraled into addiction of ‘recreational drugs’, briefly ended homeless and became too embarrassed to look at myself in the mirror. I have looked up at the belly of the snake, had the battle with my personal Goliath and only remain a more resilient, hardcore, proletariat underdog motherfucker. It’s time for all of us in this subculture to make a more activist role in fighting one of the most asinine laws of this nation. It’s time for the decriminalization of steroids as no person, entity, or agency has the right to dictate what you put into your body (especially if it doesn’t harm others.)


By Danny Manslaughter


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